So You Hate Your Style Identity.

You've analyzed yourself with the Style Identity Calculator, or you've had a professional analysis.  And you hate your answers.  

You have Natural, but you hate jeans.  You have Gamine, but Gamine's funkiness feels clownish. You have Ingenue, but the last thing you want to be is a little girl.  You have Romantic, but you hate dressing like a sex object.

It's not the case that all of us are instinctively drawn to what looks good on us. Many of us are, but, for some of us, what visually flatters us the most just feels wrong.

What do you do?

Here are a couple of strategies I recommend:

1. Reconceptualize the Essence

For each of your essences, try using a thesaurus to identify keywords you're more comfortable with that you can substitute  in for the essence.

For example, a synonym for "spunky" (Gamine) could be fearless or energetic; a synonym for "girlish" (Ingenue) could be fresh or pure; and a synonym for "relaxed" (Natural)  could be peaceful or authentic. So, if you absolutely hate the idea of Natural-Gamine-Ingenue, you can rename it Fresh, Fearless and Authentic.  A small change in the words can make a big change in how you feel about it.

2. Identify Elements You Are Willing to Accept

Another way to try to get comfortable with your identity is to identify a few elements from each essence that you are truly willing to do.

For Romantic, if you hate cleavage and butt emphasis, maybe you're willing to do blingy jewelry. For Dramatic, if you hate avant-garde looks, maybe you're willing to do monochromatic looks. For Classic, if you hate feeling like a First Lady, maybe you can tolerate pearl earrings and a designer handbag.

Just pick one or two elements that you can bring yourself to wear, and try putting them together. You might find a combination that feels like you.

3. Consider That You Might Be Wrong About What's "You"

Though style analysis feels for many people like coming home, there's a small but important group of people who get analysis after analysis and still don't feel satisfied. It's the same with personal color analysis.

When I encounter those people, I usually see their correct lines and colors among the many options they're tried and rejected.

I've come to understand that these seekers are waiting for a particular feeling of relief, or joy, or wholeness, that they believe will indicate a correct answer.  When they don't get that feeling, they assume the answer is wrong.

In those cases, the feeling they are seeking won't be found in their correct colors and lines. It may be found somewhere else, but exactly where probably depends on the person.

If you see yourself in this description, it may be that what's going to fulfill you personally is still out there. If you can come to embrace your style identity, at least you'll look amazing when you finally find it. :-)

4. F*** It

Look: Style Identity Analysis is a very specific aesthetic. It's based on the idea when you dress like what you already look like, you'll look your best.

But you don't have to do this.  

If you're an Ethereal Natural but you can't resist funky, spunky Gamine prints, give yourself permission to wear them!  The whole point of this endeavor is to make yourself happy. Break your own rules; make yourself happy. If you're like me, you may find that you get it out of your system, and you're able to return to your style identity with a more peaceful heart.

​(I'm that Ethereal Natural, by the way -- I am so drawn to Gamine elements! And when I give myself permission to include them, I actually get tired of them pretty quickly.)